‘Boys don’t like confidence’, ‘do you know being confidence is arrogant’ or ‘I want your confidence’ these are three lines that if I had a £1 for every time a person told me these I would have enough money to pay off my student debt. I am not offended or even bothered by the comments or maybe I am and that is what has spurred me onto write this post today. Am I considered confident because I’ll speak my mind? Is this because I wear what I want? Wearing what I want regardless of trends. Is this because I’ll post on Instagram despite posting the day before? Is this because I’ll send a text despite being the person to initiate a conversation the day before? Or is this because I am quite open with sharing my experiences whether they are experiences with nose kissing or mental health? All of the above, perhaps, you decide.
I would be the first to admit that I have not always been as confident or as sassy as I am now but why? I am not sure. I think a lot of it has to do with that back in 2015 I had a eureka sort of moment. This must have been the same day I begun my lifestyle change too because the pair have intertwined. Since I started my fitness regime I also became slightly more confident and this confidence is more prominent in my style. My style like every person’s has changed, developed and become a prominent part of my personality. This eureka was the moment that I stopped caring and giving a dogs left toe what people thought of me. I remember taking these photos and my parents said ‘the neighbours are watching’ and my answer to this was ‘I hope they are and maybe they can look at the post’. I think with confidence and personal style you have a lot of it is accepting. Accepting who you and remembering that the anus you are moaning, thinking about or aiming a tweet at wont matter to you in a month or a years time. Similarly the person who is sniggering at you whilst you stand in a blogger pose you won’t see again but will waste their breath on you. So rather than panicking about what they’re saying just think ‘they’re wasting that breath on talking about me how lovely thank you, I feel honoured.
So I stopped caring whether people liked my outfit or contour. I stopped worrying what people thought of me. I remember being told that wearing red lipstick made me look like I was out ready to get paid for sex which offended me; because I didn’t feel that it ever would or did do such a thing. I was also told it was too much but in recent years or ,months to be honest, I have realised that I love wearing lipstick. Especially red. I will wear red lipstick with a smoky eye or I’ll wear it on it’s own without anything else on my eye. I’ll wear red whether it is a matte shade or have a sheen to it. Why you ask? Because I love wearing red lipstick. Red lipstick in the same way that me saying ‘hello my love’ has become a feature of my personality. When I don’t wear it people find it peculiar and so I’ve now become accustomed to adapted my lipstick to the situation and outfit. I will wear it because it is my choice and I feel comfortable. Comfort is the biggest part of personal style and confidence. If I feel comfortable chances are I’ll be my confident bubbly self.
I read online whilst thinking and contemplating writing this post that ‘confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong’ and I feel this to be spot on. I am not under the illusion for a second that I am always right because 9/10 I am wrong. However I do not fear of being wrong in my style or personality because why should I be? I remember buying my first pair of boyfriend/MOM jeans and immediately thinking what the hell. Because I was so worried about what I’d look like or what people thought and now I have understood there was no need. I knew I felt comfortable in them I also knew that if I feel comfortable in my own self and my own style then that was confidence in its self.
When I was a lot younger there was a point when at that age you had to put yourself into a category of what your style was. Were you a tomboy? Were you hipster or indie? or were you mumsy. I’d say for a long time I dressed like a Mum because I was not a fan of revealing flesh but now I think because I am comfortable in my figure that I am more than content enough to reveal a little more flesh. I have also dipped into new styles and styles such as the indie or hipster look. My Sister describes this look as the Literature student look and I have just found myself in wearing things that I wouldn’t have worn years ago.
So what was the point in this post you ask? The point of this post was to say that I have reached the age of 21 that I am more than comfortable in myself. I am comfortable with my figure and it’s perky behind. I am now comfortable with the fact that my babylons have shrunk with the dress sizes. I am content with wearing glasses. Does this make me arrogant? Does this make me too confident? No it makes me stand out because we live in a society where often being confident as a woman is deemed as a flaw which it shouldn’t be. I know what I want from my life and I know what path I have to go on in order to find it and I know that my quirks are what make me. Am I single because I am confident? I am more than happy to be quirky in my style and personality? I would rather be a Bridget Jones than be a person who isn’t confident with who she is and what she has to offer to the world. What is that you ask? I know that the majority of the time I am probably wrong in what I have said but not voicing those opinions or concerns is also wrong because life is far too short to hold those thoughts back. If I feel confident or think I look good in an outfit I’ll Instagram it without a care and like to get validation from friends and stalkers on social media that I look reasonable.
I also wore this outfit for this shoot because it’s an outfit that maybe last year I wouldn’t have dreamed of wearing because I would have been worried about the connotations that would have been associated with it. Now I’ll wear my dungarees and red lipstick with no shame just sass.
Red Lipstick- Urban Decay (MadHatter, Alice in Wonderland edition)
Frilly Shirt- H.M
Sunglasses- Marc Jacobs
Confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong. –