The Tay Approach to Revenge

Has anyone else been really digging Taylor Swift’s new bangers? I’m one of the few who is absolutely loving this new Tay. The edgy but still Pop Princess Tay, I was reading an article that came up on my Facebook timeline discussing her journey through music. The article focused on Tay’s music always being aimed at someone and being the snake she knows she is and writes about. When I listen to any of Taylor’s songs that have been rumoured to have been aimed at her ex’s I love this and find it such an empowering thing to do. Now, I don’t have any exes to write classic pop hits about, but it did get me thinking about the ‘Look what you made me do’ track. I was a fan of this song when it came out unlike her critics because I loved how empowering it was for Taylor, it was saying to the world, I know what you think of me and I’ve evolved, I also loved how she featured all her notorious exes in the video in subtle ways. For example, all her male dancers were all wearing <3 TS which was a hit at my fancy man Tom Hiddleston. 

Taylor’s ways of attacking her enemies is, I find such an amusing way to do it because it’s obvious in her videos and in her lyrics. Taylor makes it clear in the ‘I knew you were trouble’ that this was aimed at One Direction member, Harry Styles her ex. But, it got me thinking about my revenge and what I would do. And no, my revenge doesn’t include a criminal record, I’m not that savage but did get thinking about, what it would involve and how I would get my moment of smug like Tay gets every time her singles’ get released. To be fair, the chances of this ever happening are highly unlikely but made for amusing content, so balls to reality lets live in Ev’s imagination. 

 

For me, I always release anger in the gym but at the moment with being unable to walk further than 10 minutes with nerve damage, I’ve had plenty of time to daydream and think about the workouts I do and how they help release anger. Daydream’s induced by my playlists on my iPod or Spotify playlist. Let’s think of this, as what I’d do if I was Tay…*if only*.

My anger usually stems from those who have gotten on my damaged nerves, bullied me through school, messed with my family and those who have played with my feelings. If you think, you fit that category chances are, you are thought about and are in the category. My revenge fantasy or daydream, would look almost like a Taylor Swift music video if it was filmed because it would feature subtle clues. I would first, take my love of the gym and invite every single one of those human beings to a morning of fitness classes hosted by moi. Now, moi would be teaching the entire thing and I have no teaching ability when it comes to fitness but stamina (when right as rain) I do have and can knacker anyone out if they follow my workout plan. I remember taking an active friend to one of my workout classes and she was surprised with my stamina and energy, so these guys are in for it.

We would begin with a spinning class; a class everyone either loves or hates and usually hates because they are either scared or cant hack it. Each of the invitees has been given spin shoes that they probably won’t know how to put on, let alone clip into the pedals; these ensure they’re not moving from their saddles. Now, I can’t just show up as I would do if I was a pupil. I walk in, once all the invitees are clipped in; wearing the best sports bra that enhances the babylons and the newly worked abs. We then wear a pair of high waisted sports leggings just to ensure that the back side looks as good as Kylie’s in the Spinning Around music video. My physique has to showcase a new Ev, the Sassy Ev because ‘The old Ev, can’t come to the phone right, now..why? cos she’s dead’. Yes, like Tay, the old Ev that these people remember is no longer present she has had a sass boost and is now able to show why you never play with: Ev’s feelings, family or life.

‘The Old Ev can’t come to the phone now, cos she’s dead’

I’ve been lucky to have had and have some great spinning teachers who have always had the best of playlists so these guys have got some cracking bangers coming their way, I’ll leave a couple below for you to listen to. Struggling is not on the cards since these guys thought playing with Ev was acceptable. So Ev, is getting revenge. We then move onto a cardio/gaining class, a class that should be easy for these guys who claim they are so tough and strong…Nah! Weighted squats, lunches, presses, Bollywood Dancing and of course boxing becomes slightly too much. By the end, those who picked on me at school, played with my feelings and my family are now apologising for their actions. Both sweat and apologies are dripping…the power of exercise to make the new Ev feel smug like the new Tay. As you’re reading this, you’re thinking that I’ve actually managed to do this or have had it really pondering my mind and yes it has crossed my mind. Maybe, not being able to go to the gym along with my aggression towards some human beings combined makes for great imaginative scenarios. 

The Revenge Playlist

Schorchio/ Emerson :

This was a song, I fell in love with from my spin class so had to be put in my own. Lets call it the warm up but did I say that this song was 10 minutes long?

Saltwater/Legacy:

This is the song that usually results in the above daydream floating in my brain so to not have this in my playlist would be wrong. It’s a song that when extended and remixed, is a killer on the legs so let’s have it. A fast up hill sprint will soon get hearts racing and everyone being aware of what’s in store for them.

Justice / Genesis:

This is a fab song and a song that’s perfect for hills especially with that legend sound I find to be so empowering. This song, in my opinion, is the sort of song I want playing when I walk into a room if I was famous…(I clearly have a vivid imagination)

Martin Garrix/ Only way is Up:

Another song, I found from spin and this is great for pedalling to the beat; going up and down just to ensure every inch is worked. So, think about doing press ups on a bike, up down up down in time with the music….*wishes she was in a spin class*.

Coone: Survival of the Fittest:

This is a song that sounds as frightening as the workout and is great for anger busting. I loved it from my Les Mills class so felt appropriate to feature it in my revenge workout since it’s a terrifying song and routine. If you skip into about 2 minutes you’ll get this fitness vibe because the first few seconds it just sounds rather crazy! Embrace the craziness and get kicking. 

Sosmi ft Missy Dj: You got the Love / Breeze Remix:

This is song, I got from a fitness class and looked everywhere for, until asking the instructor for the song and when I found it, it has been on repeat since. I love the song and just has to be a song for getting my revenge. It’s the perfect song for punching and getting those arms working. I’m sure the boxing side of my workout would be aimed at me by the end of the class however come the morning their shoulders and muscles will be sore as hell. 

Kylie Minogue: Cant get you out of my head (Boombox remix):

Now these guys would know I love Kylie, always have done, so would be rude not to make them squat to a Kylie banger. A weighted squat with Kylie, what more could I want and these guys want?

From reading this, you’ve probably gathered that I’ve thought about this often enough especially when any of these folks grace my social media or when I’m listening to some cracking trance bangers the image just floats into my head. It’s truly amazing what Taylor Swift’s new hits can do for inspiring new blog material.

Has Tay inspired your revenge plans? 

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2 Comments

    • evan
      October 30, 2017 / 9:21 pm

      Thank you so much! I’m glad you liked it. It was one of those blog posts that I felt a little nervous about publishing so I’m glad you like it so much! xo

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