I have two questions. 1) Have you ever walked by a person sitting in a coffee shop alone and felt pity? 2) Have you ever preferred to get a takeaway and sit in a room on your own in favour of projecting to the world that you’re on your own? Let’s give the answers, the answer will be a YES, every single one of us does this and we hide no shame in saying that we do this. We see a woman sitting in a restaurant alone and assume she’d been stood up, she’s an evil cat lady spinster rather than thinking she’s professional. I, as I write this am in a hotel room in Belgium with work, alone. Yes, alone. I travelled here over the weekend solo, I ate breakfast alone, I ate dinner alone and now I’m in a hotel bar with a laptop all alone.
The thought of travelling for work has always been something that has excited me and the thing I always wanted. The thought of being on my own didn’t phase me which is perhaps why I’m still single at my age and not preparing to settle down with a partner, buy a house or even try and just have a stable relationship. I just like my own company. As humans, we should all be able to find ourselves in a way which means we are able to find our own company simply ok. We should not be a ashamed of being alone, being alone is not a crime. Or something we should feel sorry for someone for.
Whilst in between meetings etc during the day of time here, I have been asked regularly, ‘how are you coping in the evening?’ I do believe that in the 21st century and in 2019 that we’re lucky to have things such as; Amazon Prime Instant Video, Netflix, Sky Go and Iplayer downloads oh and I forgot YouTube. These things mean that you’re not technically alone since you have so many options to keep you preoccupied. At dinner times, I use the iPad to respond to emails and can watch anything downloaded. Repeats of Scandal, The Catch, Desperate Housewives and Jezza Clarkson Top Gear keeping me sane at these times. Whilst, I do feel lonely at these times, when I look at the empty seat in front me. We have to be reminded in these times that, loneliness is a feeling rather than a fact. Although, I am currently assuming that everyone around me thinks that I am a lonely old spinster who dines alone and has cats at home. Yes, I am a singleton but not necessarily acting upon these spinster ways at breakfast or dinner. These assumptions are also in my head, whose to say anyone other than me is assuming that I am the girl whose been stood up, or am the spinster I think I look like.
If for any reason that you find yourself in a hotel room, a restaurant or anywhere on your own I’ve come up with a few tips.
Have at least 1 subscription service
Whether it’s Netflix, Prime or IPlayer, find yourself that subscription service that will allow you to download a few things before your trip. I think there is a blog post in this, but here are my suggestions; R Kelly: Surviving- this documentary is one to watch and will definitely make you delete IGNITION from your playlist, Assination of Gianni Versace, The Man in the High Castle, A Series of Unfortunate Events & This Country cos everyone needs a spot of humour. Watch these and make the most of the free wifi when you reach your destination and watch these shows from the comfort of your hotel room or at your dinner table.
If like me and you love an at home facial, then maybe being away for business is the perfect opportunity to make the most of these pampering sessions. With no distractions, such as house work or even people, indulge in a face mask, toning session and of course a spot of moisturising.
Enjoy your own company
Some of us can’t even think about being alone otherwise if freaks us right out, others like myself quite like the lack of company. The lack of weather and brexit chat, does float my boat. I find that when alone, especially when forced into situations that are lonely are interesting because they take you out of your comfort zone. By being out of your comfort zone you are forced into dealing with such situations. I cannot say, I want to spend the rest of my life alone in hotels, bars and even locations alone. Eventually I want to be in a relationship etc but when in business mode we should expect that being alone comes with the job especially when working and being abroad. For me, running a bath in a hotel, watching my shows etc in a room is quite lovely but also getting to sleep at a much earlier time than usual is always quite lovely too. No distractions, just me, myself and I. Although, I cannot wait to return home and have human interaction after 6pm.
So, you’re going to read this and say, Ev, get a bloody life love, how can you like being on your own? Yes, it’s not fun all the time especially at breakfasts and dinners when you’re looking at an empty chair but in the evenings being alone doesn’t always have to be depressing. Anyway, I always remind myself that loneliness is not a fact but it is a temporary feeling.