Self-Care is the actions that individuals take for themselves, on behalf of and with others in order to develop, protect, maintain and improve their health, wellbeing or wellness.
In my first weeks of attending therapy again, my new therapist asked the question ‘do you have any self-care rituals? At the time, I said, yeah totally, I watch a re-run of Desperate Housewives and Miranda on my iPad whilst having a genital dunk in the bath; she looked at me with the thumbs up that you give your family member when you do something new for the first time. It was then, that I realised that perhaps I just don’t actually do the ol’self-care that I should do and we all should take time out of our schedules to do. We all, want to be depicting to the world that we’re busy but what happens when we take a chill pill to just chill the fuck out? We feel guilty for this, but what about if we start enjoying these periods without feeling like we’re committing a sin. I thought, I’d take one for the team and try my hand a self-care, I know such a hard life ay?
One Saturday, I had an entire day to myself, my Sister who is usually my partner in crime was pre-occupied with friends and my Mum was busy but I had arranged to see my friends in the evening. Cos, I do have pals you know. A day to myself, was sort of unheard as usually I have something on in the day, whether a gym class, or just something booked but this time I had nothing, what is this madness? I thought it was now, time for me to do a spot of the ol’self-care and see what I considered as self-care and how the day went.
First stop: A Massage
Back in 2017, I went for a spa day whilst I was in and out of hospital and it was cracking. Quite literally too. A massage, facial and a wax on the ol’ brows was glorious but I’ve never found the time to indulge in those again. Whether it’s with commitments, work or finances, these activities were never at the top of my list. So, I booked myself into my gyms spa and treated myself to a massage. The massage was a 45 minute neck, back and shoulders massage which up till now, I was unaware on how badly I needed someone to unknot my back and shoulders for me. I’m double jointed round my shoulders thus being this flexible comes with a downer = The knotted shoulders and neck. Smashing. A couple of knuckles and fists massaging the tennis ball sized knots later, I felt fresh, relaxed and calmer. The woman who grabs a coffee from the costa drive thru, wears Gucci trainers with her Burberry mac and Levis skinny jeans whilst on the way to the school run is the sort of woman who goes for a regular massage. Not lil Ev. I wanted to feel like this, just on my way home in favour of a school to pick my non-existent children up. After the massage, I felt like a million pounds and was the best money I’d spent in a long time. It was therapeutic and overwhelming tension I’d been carrying round with me, had been unknotted away.
Yass. One, definitely needs to find the area in her budget where she can afford to go for a massage more regularly perhaps in favour of new shoes or skincare. This felt glorious and something that I was definitely overdue. I do think, when spa ladies tell you that you need a massage regularly, they’re not just selling you a service for their commission but for your sanity. Since I came out feeling like I had the life of a Kardashian. Just without the salary, the wealth or the adoring fans.
Oh she watched an episode of Marie Kondo, yup you guessed it right hun. I did. It was actually what I should’ve watched a long time ago as it gave me a good approach to going through the crap under my bed and my wardrobe. Two areas where I hoard to the point of no return. However, with the house to myself and my playlist of cheesy pop bangers on the highest volume, it was a time to be savage and go through the pieces that no longer sparked joy. This sounds easy, but to go through your wardrobe with this, I’ll be writing a piece on it since, it’s not as easy as you think it is. It’s like, driving, you think you’re the next Stirling Moss before your first driving lesson and you get in and realise you might need more than a few lessons.
This is no massage, but this will make your head that little bit nicer and less cluttered especially when you go near your wardrobe or under your bed. You wont feel as though your hoarding the Next warehouse under your bed or wardrobe. I found this to be therapeutic but quite enjoyable since I managed to re-find pieces I thought I’d given to the charity shop. Winning.
Whenever I’ve done myself a manicure I have two problems. The first, it looks like my dogs have done it between them or I did it whilst blind folded. The second, they chip and last 2 days before they either peel or chip which I hate. Firstly, who wants chipped nails? Second, is there anything worse than chipped nails? And, yes, I just re-wrote the same sentence out but with a different style, I know call me J K Rowling. So, I walked into one of my local nail bars and decided to treat myself to a manicure because these guys could make a much better job than I could and I know with their skills, my nails would look nicer for longer than a day.
Some would call this self-care, others would call this sheer laziness but for the sake of a manicure that lasts a real long time and takes the worry out of getting varnish on your bedding, it’s worth the dollar and the lack of moans from me ‘i’ve got nail varnish on my bedding’.
So, that was it in the day of the self-care edit. I’m not making this a weekly thing because by then I’ll have no money and won’t be caring for my wellbeing or mental health but for a bi-monthly (every two months for the simpletons amongst us) day its glorious and highly recommended. If you are the woman who grabs the costa on her way to the school run from Pilates with the gals then I salute you for being able to have a weekly massage. If you fancy treating me, then I’ll accept gladly 😉
Do you indulge in self care?
Photo Credit: Floirin Chapling