I’m going to let you in, on a little secret, towards the end of December 17 and start of the year, or for most of January, I was going through a tough time both mentally and physically. ME/stress related- but the two combined just made for a real bad time and that isn’t me self-pitying or asking for sympathy it’s just the honest truth and we can’t really beat around the bush any more than that. So, I decided to change tactics. Rather than wallow in self-pity I thought that I’d take inspiration from two women, one fictional and one more real life. Anne Frank, a true female hero presenting strength beyond her years and one of whom, more young people need to become aware of and secondly Bridget Jones; I know a big contrast. But, what do these women have in common? They started writing a diary to document their daily emotions, thoughts and feelings just in an A5 book and pen. Or I assume an A5 book. So, that’s what I did. I used one of the very nice notebooks I have laying around in my room and used one as a diary since traditional diaries cannot be, bigger enough for my thoughts and feelings.

I was really interested with the concept of bullet journaling, it has been around for years now. With, most bloggers from Lilly Pebbles to Anna Newton- all taking up the concept of it. I’m still slightly confused because it is journaling but on a minimalistic approach. It takes out of the wishy washy bits and cuts it down to basics with you only writing brief, short notes a day but using symbols and codes to assist with the journaling. Sounds very appealing if you like your life to be on the basic side and don’t like expressing your inner thoughts. I wanted to try it, but felt that my mentality at this moment in time wouldn’t really benefit from the premises of bullet journaling. So, I took journaling back to basics and so let’s see what I’m learning over the course of journaling and becoming the real life Bridget Jones.

Time Out

Just before, I read my book which at the moment is Agatha Christie: Murder on the Orient Express, I take my diary, my pen, my headphones and I begin to write about the day and my feelings. I zone out, completely, taking out the negativity and the events of the day because I focus purely on the page in front of me. Usually, I start daydream with the tunes playing through my headphones but, it means, I go to bed having taken the negativity out of the day from my mind, meaning I focus more on me rather than what’s going on around me. I’ve noticed, I sleep so much better when I’ve written down those negative thoughts and feelings before I got to bed. It takes 10-15 minutes of, just writing, often this short amount of time is enough to just calm down.

You Don’t Bore Anyone Else

Now, I love a chuff which if you didn’t know, means I like to really go on about the same topic for a real long time. Beating round the bush, discussing it, until I go blue in the face. I almost apply my analytical brain to every situation. I’ll give you an example; a guy doesn’t call you after the date. You discuss that for weeks on end, discussing every possible reason why and how. I can’t say why but I do it for everything. So, I’ve found writing and keeping a diary has meant that I can write and chuff on about topics that friends/family are probably sick and tired of hearing about. It means, I can really express the true extent of those feelings/anxieties without the fear of annoying the person listening to me. Trust me, you can’t bore yourself.

Stationary is fabulous

Ever since I was little, I’d find great joy within stationary items. Nothing better than raiding Paperchase for a new pencil case and pens to start the new term. So using lovely pens on a lovely notebook is rather pleasing for my little crazy mind and has made me find the joys in the simple things.

Think of the positive

For my birthday I was bought three things all to do with keeping and being positive. I sense that my friends knew how I was feeling and the reasons for my feelings so thought I needed a pick me up. I find, usually that quotes from Pinterest to be rather cringe worthy and make my skin boil, but a book, calendar and quote board with the concept of feeling happy is just the right amount of happiness I can have injected into me at one time. Even, if that diary entry is rather negative, I will always write a quote in my diary to begin/end the entry from my book or calendar and these quotes just remind me that things can and will get better but I will also get stronger and be back nearer to where I used to find myself. Sometimes all it takes, is a gentle reminder to give you a little push.

Opening Up

When I first suffered with anxiety, I was told that what helps most, is not holding it in, but actually talking about it and expressing those worries. It may not be expressing them on social media through an Insta post or even a tweet but writing those worries, those true feelings down is one way you can express your true feelings without the world fearing you’re on the edge of feeling low. It also means that whether you think it or not, you have taken one worry from your plate and put it in a diary.

Write it, rip it out and shred it

This is something I did last night and wish I had done weeks ago or maybe years ago. I decided to do something that I see on TV all the time but thought it was a crock of ****.  It’s the idea of writing an imaginary letter to a person whether that person be an ex-lover, friend or even family member. You write the letter, expressing everything you’d want that person to hear and know, once you’ve written it, remove it from the book without taking the rest of the pages out with it. Then, shred and bin it. With this, you hope that it becomes out of your conscious. I felt like that weight had been lifted and taken into a new universe, I just hope my recycling people don’t put shredded paper back together and think it’s a real letter awaiting an address, stamp and envelope. LOL

End of Year Look back

This is the blogger in me, who says this. But at the end of this year, you will be thinking and reflecting on how 2018 has been for you.  Facebook/Instagram is a way of understanding how your year went. It will the ‘Your Year’ or ‘Best of Nine’ which give you an indication of your year. But as I said last year, your social media doesn’t always document the lows; you only ever share the times you look hot to trot. So come the 31st December 2018, if you and I have both kept up with the diary writing, we can use our diaries as a way of reflecting on the year. How we’ve grown from when the diary first started and where we are looking towards for 2019.

Social Media Detox

I bet, that before you go and turn your light off, to go to bed, you’ll be like me. You’ll scroll through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, YouTube subscriptions and of course emails and before you know it, you’ve gone 10 weeks deep on a boys profile; learning all about his past, present and potential relationships alongside learning all about his family. You will know where his Aunt Emily went on her family holiday with her three children who all go to private school. If you’ve never done it, you’ll be lying to yourself. When in actual fact, what you needed more than that knowledge, was a social media detox. By writing a diary daily, I go to bed much nicer and don’t go to bed with every possible situation racing through my mind. It also means I’m not assessing what a boys like on a girls picture actually means…


Will you or have you started writing a diary before?


Shop the Post

Kate Spade Notebook

Ladies everywhere, and I know that’s probably about 50% of you, if my analytics are correct, it’s International Women’s Day. It’s time to, wear your best underwear, it’s time to look in the mirror and love yo self, it’s time to be you. YOU. Don’t wear your best underwear to shamelessly send it onto the creep claiming to show any interest in you whatsoever, wear that new snazzy set you bought from Marks and Spencer’s when the sales came around, for you, because wearing a matching set just feels perfect and right! This is one of those days, we should all be proud to support both as women and men, because we should all be loving ourselves and being strong, independent and of course sassy women.

I think the issue which really grates on my gears is, is when men will say where is international men’s day?’ well pal, let’s go back through history, time and events to see men have hardly had it bad over the years. So, there ‘day’ has never needed to exist for men to see they’ve had the upper cuff for eternity; let us blame Eve for eating that sodding apple. The easiest one to point out, their lack of menstrual cramps and childbirth; but let’s think about the more social issues which many uneducated men will forget to recognise; Always being granted the vote, always being recognised in the workplace through the unfair pay gap and of course many old fashioned views that circulate about women and the household. I’m not making myself a sandwich so I’m certainly not making you one, sweetie beauty.

Being a feminist and embracing International Women’s Day, is not about being sexist towards men, hitting men or being abusive towards men but recognising that in the 21st Century, in 2018, we are equal. We are not worlds apart and we are certainly not weaker or less intelligent. Women, have spent years living in fear of speaking out, being afraid of having the right or choice to do many things and of course being their own person without fear of judgement. I know, as a woman there is still, this fear, this fear of being you without judged by peers. Social media has a big role to play there, we as women will feel real fierce, post that on social media and immediately start doubting ourselves because we fear the comments or back stabbing comments we might receive from our peers. But stop, don’t think about them, think about you and how great you are I do feel that as a woman, however, that we should all be supporting other women; we shouldn’t be putting each other down as a way of getting a buzz in our own life. If there is a buzz from being mean, negative or just spiteful towards a fellow woman’s appearance, lifestyle or attitudes then this is just a low blow and you should think about your own life. Think about what’s missing in your life to make such cruel comments for that buzz. This is selfish and doesn’t make you feel better, it’s a short term buzz because, does it make you feel good in a month’s time?

Being you, embracing yourself and most importantly showcasing what your mama gave you, is what I personally believe International Women’s Day is all about; it’s all becoming stronger and happier within yourself as a woman. I want to bring your attention to the wonderful book that is the dictionary and particularly the word ‘Empowerment’. This word gets chucked around, more than most words in fact, it’s a word which every woman who wants to shout about their feminist debates, will use. The word itself, is rather encouraging, it’s the sort of word Alan Partridge would discuss on Mid-Morning Matters, perhaps Steve Coogan can nick my idea and discuss. I’ll take soul credit! It’s the word, our friend, the dictionary defines as ‘the process of becoming stronger and more confident especially in controlling our lives and claiming our rights’. I believe, empowerment, doesn’t just come from fashion, choices of make-up, skincare but sometimes through exercise.

Since my diagnosis with ME, I’ve felt rather glum and not overly perky which has meant the gym has been the last thing on my mind. I’ve been in fear of the relapse, the struggle the first class would be and most importantly the fear of judgement from peers around me. This has been, I think where and why I’ve felt so moody and glum, since the gym used to be my happy place. I think, the gym is rather empowering. Is there anything better than getting a buzz from a kick boxing session? A squat deadlift in the weight room when good looking men are watching? Or killing a spinning class? I think not and rest my case. So, it’s no surprise that women everywhere are looking and turning to exercise to feel empowered, my goal for this month is to get back into my gym routine the best I can, with my health condition. I want to feel my old self again and get those abs back, I’ve got back into Bollywod Dancing so, spinning is next.

For me, going to the gym captures the entire essence of empowerment. Through, this feeling of empowerment, I’ve been really engaged with the content of Panthera Active; a Kent fitness and life coaching business which seeks to see women changing their physical and mental state through exercise and positive well-being. It incorporates my thought of, using exercise as a platform for making yourself feel better and be stronger. The branding, the marketing and general ethos of the business feels rather right to speak of, when it is International Women’s Day because it speaks directly to women everywhere, regardless of; weight, shape, size, height, race or sexuality. It’s about feeling great in your own skin; being you, not anyone else or feeling like you have to be someone else to feel special. Girls, regardless of it being, International Women’s Day, I think you need to take a spot of the branding from Panthera Active and feel positive because a positive mind-set will aid you to get the results you want. Whether you want to drop a dress size, feel good, get better skin, eat healthier you need that positivity. I hate to say it, because I think negatively so much but thinking about what you can’t do, won’t get you the things you CAN get!!


*This post was in collaboration with Panthera Active, a business you can follow via Facebook/Instagram for fitspo content! All views are my own.*


Dear Myalgic Encephalomyelitis,

Do you remember when you decided that I’d be one of your 250,000 victims? You probably don’t but I can remember the early days of my symptoms. It began in late 2015/ early 2016, I think, annoyingly however I put you down to a gluten allergy…all those cakes, pastas and pies I avoided because I thought it was the trigger for my symptoms. I remember, catching the flu/stomach bug and I don’t think made a proper recovery. I think, I rushed going back to the gym, work and Uni before fully recovering so you sat lingering in my system just lurking..Id go through spells of feeling constantly tired and spaced out. Sitting in seminars, not really knowing who I was and what was going on. I’d consume 100’s of starbursts to try and get through the seminars without falling asleep. But for those who read my letter to you and don’t know who you are, let me paint you the scene of who/what Myalgic Encephalomyelitis is. It is a long term, chronic, fluctuating neurological condition which affects all the body systems but most commonly the nervous and immune system. You effect 17 million people around the world. Did you know that? 

I was able to disguise your symptoms by cutting out gluten and going on B12 tablets since, the doctors believed they were the causes not yourself. With these in place, I went through 2016 living a happy, healthy and most importantly active lifestyle which just cut out gluten most of the time. Occasionally having a poorly tummy, feeling nauseas and feeling like I’d been on a flight to Australia twice within a week but always managed to blame gluten as the root cause. Just when, my life was becoming what I wanted it to be with; blogging opportunities, graduations, parties and new jobs you decided to attack with vengeance and make my life go upside down. And no, not as good as Diana Ross’ Upside Down banger. You hit, once again with the constant fatigue, what seems to be the most favourite symptom. I was becoming tired after anything and everything but more importantly falling asleep everywhere, even on holiday during bus tours of Cities and on the train. The fatigue was hard to manage, since I’d go to bed earlier and wake up feeling as though I had, had 4 hours sleep not 8. You then felt, the need to hit my concentration and just professional status. The mind fog, was horrible because I’d be told something and completely forget about it, without even realising. My memory was affected to the point, I felt like I couldn’t be trusted in my work environment because I was bound to forget what had just been said. I blame, you for when I’d misread emails both in University and now in the working environment. Like, when did you decide to give me nerve damage? What had I done, to deserve a lack of sensation in my hands and feet? Had I entered the gym loving life, too late, in life and didn’t deserve it anymore? At the age of 21, a set of crutches and a hand splint, wasn’t going to be my finest look. 

Those who don’t have you in their system or battle with you on a daily basis will not be able to share the mental side of your attack. You seem to know, just when to hit and when to hit all the wrong buttons. I had reached a point in my life where my mental health was at a good point and a place which I could manage. I was also comfortable in my body and skin, now you’ve taken that along with my dignity and active lifestyle. It upsets me, when I see fitness bloggers and those in love with the gym claiming there are no excuses and you should be going to the gym with no excuses or my least favourite is, ‘just get on with it’. I CANT, and yes in this circumstance, the word CANT does exist because my body physically says no. The moment, I’ve finished a workout of lower capacity than last years, I end up collapsed on a bed with my head spinning and no appetite whats so ever. Thats your fault, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. Since, you were discovered by my neurology team, you’ve caused me to endure a; prescription of anti depressants, a phone call with a therapist, emotional breakdowns and of course feelings of no self worth. I should also add, that the prescription of tablets caused me to have a skin allergy and vomiting side effect as a result of the tablets. Having you as an enemy and living within my body, I can only describe as having your ability to exercise, think clearly and ever feel healthy taken away from you with no reason other than, sorry hun, life is a bitch. I know, you’re an illness which in the grand scheme of things, is the best of a worst bunch but it doesn’t make it any better for me and those also suffering with your symptoms.

When I try and talk about you or claim to be poorly with your illness, I receive ‘well you don’t look poorly’ this is fabulous when i’ve concealed the tired bags under my eyes, the spots that have been caused on my face whilst wearing a pair of spanx to conceal the bloating. But being told, I don’t look poorly or can’t surely be poorly because I’ve been seen out at lunch, or at dinner in the evening just makes me feel a fraud. You’ve made me paranoid and doubt myself and my body. I worry about stepping outside the house, in fear of a person judging me for stepping foot out after certain hours.

Just as, I was making a recovery and feeling a little more like myself you decided to come back in and cause another relapse. This time causing a collapse on a rush hour commuter train, where I blanked out and as a result can’t remember the half of it. Only, that I awoke at my train station sat next to a person from the train line and my Dad collecting me. My dreams of working in the City pretending to be a combination of Carrie Bradshaw and Olivia Pope has sunk, like the Titanic only I’ve not sung a heart felt song like Celine Dion. Instead, bringing my work closer to home to reduce you making another return. You may have taken some of my sanity, some of my dignity and a large portion of my self confidence, you will NOT take away my desire TO work, TO earn money and TO be independent.

The days, I feel high,  the days I feel well enough to attend a fitness class or the days I feel well enough to eat out whether it be in the day or evening I will share on my social media. These are tiny portions but apparently indicate you are well, healthy and normal. Those who see my posts, are unaware that you strike moments later; I’ll get home after the above activities and be effected for sometimes 2 days afterwards. I’ll feel like that trip out for coffee, that meal out or that walk along the beach with Norman and Fernando being like a flight to Australia and back. The night I went out to celebrate my birthday impacted me for 2 days afterwards and then was in the backdrop to my January 2018 relapse, does that make you feel better? You’ve made me worry about doing anything in fear of relapsing to the point where I can’t feel my hands, feet again. My friends, see the joyful, the happiness and the fun on my social media and think everything is great or I’m living the dream. Whilst  behind the scenes of that snazzy gram, that snazzy outfit or the press release/event I’m recovering, collapsed on my bed because you’ve struck sometimes taking my appetite with you.  I want my friends, followers, family and peers to remember what they see on the gram, Facebook, stories on Snapchat and of course Twitter as being the highlights and the days where I’m feeling like the old Ev, the old Ev who embraced her curves, her dark hair, her single but sassy status and of course her nose kissing incidents. Social media, is a highlight reel, it’s not reality. I don’t share with those as a status or check in when I’m having a relapse because this isn’t what I want them to know, you’re like the secret that they know about but not the true extent. I can only describe it, as like the person you’re seeing, all your relatives know about him but pretend he doesn’t exist because he is that dirty little secret. Just like Chronic Fatigue. 

It’s now February and nearly March, so four months since you came properly and more overtly into my life. You’ve taken my confidence and my active lifestyle but I am determined with the adaptions I’m learning and trying to make in my life, to overcome you and put you in the same pile as all those ****boys and bullies. I’m hoping that making certain changes to my lifestyle will actually aid my recovery and not put it, on pause like it was in January.  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, you may be with me, but lets hope you make fewer attacks, fewer drop by’s and leave me to live my life. To return to my sassy, active and confident life. I also, want when you decide to leave my body, to give me back my body confidence.

Kind Regards


To understand more about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, then visit the Action for ME page as well as the ME Association. Two charities whose work is reaching out to those in need and to those need/want to learn about the condition. Or, alternatively you can watch the documentary on Netflix entitled ‘Unrest’ which documents those house bound, bed bond and wheelchair bound due to the condition. It’s time to change your thoughts and attitudes towards the disease.




Single and Fabulous, Exclamation Point

It’s Valentines Day, if you didn’t know already? Did you? Well, you could hardly miss it really, with the shops, tv adverts and influencers drumming it down our necks we can’t avoid the commercial love affairs. Everywhere we look, we have what we should buy our loved ones but if like me, you’re single, Valentines Day and the cupid idea becomes all a little bit too much. A little like, a punch in your gut.

Being single, has been partly choice and lack of luck. Unlike, peers I’ve not dated my house mates, Uni night out true loves, my mates or tinder matches. I’ve never been a fan of online dating, since every-time I do, it just doesn’t go very well and often 95% of those on these dating sites are thinking with their gentleman’s sausage rather than their brains or even hearts. Whether, Ive got way to high standards or just I’ve got no luck in the love sphere, I just have never worked out my reasons for being the 22 version of Bridget Jones just without the Hugh Grant, Colin Firth or smoking habit. I’d say 364 days of the year, being single doesn’t bother me in the slightest, the second Valentines Day and the build up for the day comes around, I become a little down about my singleton status. I look at my friends, colleagues, family members and peers who all seem to be happy in relationships rather than focusing on what the perks and how ‘ok’ I really am with being single all of the time.

Whilst poorly, and at my lowest with my ME towards the end of last year, I began writing a non fiction novel, a novel I’m quite proud of. A novel, that at the moment, I’m not intending on releasing or sharing on this domain since, I don’t want my enemies copying and pasting it onto things or even making sarcastic comments. Instead, it’s under scrutiny by publishers and literary experts; to say I want it in a book and being sold would be an understatement. Now, that I’ve written it, I’d love for it to get published and seen by many. But, in my book, I address this concept of being single and how being single isn’t something to be ashamed of or even something we should hide. Writing from true experiences, using my own accounts, I’ve been on a journey of self discovery and understood my reasons for being single and why I’m not ready or feeling the desire for a relationship. Writing 65,000 words containing real events but based in non fictional settings, has been a bit of therapy for me since I’ve learnt that everyone is single at some point in their lives but being single doesn’t mean you’re wrong or anything is wrong with you or me even. Being single isn’t a disease and it’s not because we’re inadequate; I looked at past experiences with men whether their poor foot wear, their snapchats, BS or just general poor manners and learnt how having them as experiences has given me a bit of a pedestal to judge and move on from. I’ve learnt what is it that I want and what I certainly don’t want. I don’t want to reveal too much, other than I am dreaming and praying with every ounce of me that this gets somewhere and doesn’t just sit on my hard drive until I die. Let us all pray for Ev.

I know, I’ve written about this subject numerous times but really it’s a subject close to my heart and a subject which has so much taboo around. Whenever we, think about Valentines Day, we don’t think about the happy couples, the loss of virginities or even flower deliveries but we do think and pity those in my position. The singletons, those not in relationships and we pity them. I know, as a person not in a relationship the ‘how do you feel about being single on Valentines?’ once a day in the lead up, or ‘do you mind being single?’ So, I feel that in this post, I probably have answered that and addressed how I feel on valentines, I don’t feel that great. Often, wondering what happened and why I’m single but today, I thought about al the perks of being single whether it being the 14th of February or not.

1) Freedom

Anyone who is in a relationship, will be tided down whether their spouse is controlling or not. Let’s put it this way, I can go out on a night out wearing a snazzy dress, heels and berry red lipstick without the worry of pulling and having to stand them up because I’m in a relationship. I can also dance, behave and do what I want on a daily basis without the worry of being judged for what my boyfriend might think of my behaviour.

2) Cheap

Valentines Day, Christmas and birthdays: Single life is great. I don’t have to worry about spending extra money on boys who probably aren’t bothered by such gifts. I save the money, on what I’d buy for them and buy it for myself or just save it for another rainy day.

3) Find Yourself

Being in a relationship, from what I’ve learnt from Sex and the City, Bridget Jones and friends you have to be fully comfortable in your own skin. You have to embrace your flaws, your insecurities and of course be comfortable with who you are for the other person to be in love and accept you for you. So, whilst being single and having a two way relationship with Ben and Jerry’s, I’m learning to love myself and accept me for me. I’m trying to accept the ME/CFS, the curves and the insecurities we all have. I think that when you are body confident and comfortable with who you are, you can be in a relationship and that’s the place I want to be at my life before I share my life with a male side kick.

4) Have High Standards

Whenever I ask; ‘Why do you think I am single?’ to friends and family they will always say this, ‘Ev you have too high standards’. I fully accept that my standards for men are super high. I accept this and acknowledge this. I know deep down my dream man is very impossible, a man who; looks like a mixture between, Jude law, Richard Hammond, Alex Turner and Tom Hiddleston is probably never going to happen. I also know, that finding a man with decent fashion taste will be tricky since most straight men I’ve met, are incapable of not wearing a pair of tracksuit bottoms, I also know there are very few men who are prepared to watch Bollywood, Desperate Housewives (for the 6th time) and Top Gear (Jezza &Co only) or listen to Kylie Minogue/trance music like me. But, I will keep these standards as sort of fantasy but will expect my future man to tick some of those boxes.

This, has probably become a rather big ramble and doing a big up yours to anyone who has mocked my single and sassy motto and lifestyle but I DO feel that as a single person, this time of the year and this month becomes rather ‘if you’re not in a relationship, you’re the odd one out’. So this post is for you, the gal/boy who is sat with their tub of ice cream, their wine, their netflix and their canine feeling sorry for themselves. It’s time to realise, there is nothing wrong with you, you’re not inadequate or diseased, it’s not your time. The universe is telling us to find ourselves, embrace ourselves and just live the life to the fullest before we settle. Before, we settle for the wrong, the flip flops, the poor snapchat pics and of course the BS.

To end this post, I leave you with some song lyrics from Strings of Life (Stronger on my Own)

“Yeah, you can’t hurt me boy,
Nah no, noooo baby,
‘Cause I’m stronger on my own”.


For the last 13 years of my life, I’ve needed glasses/contact lenses to aid my eye sight. My eye sight is quite weak and rather blurry without of a pair of spectacles. In the early days of wearing glasses, I hated wearing them and would try my absolute hardest to try and keep wearing my contact lenses, even through, the dry as Gandhi’s flip flops moments. Anyone who wears or has worn contacts knows the dry feeling come the end of the day; when it’s like blinking paper cuts. The pain I’d endure for vanity and not begin called Ugly Betty!! Now, however, at the ripe age of 22, Yes one has aged since the last post I’m beginning to embrace my appearance with my glasses. So, today I picked up my latest pair of glasses to compliment my latest eye test.

Eye tests are a major part of our health just like visiting our dentists to check our teeth and going to the nurse’s office to have our smears and gentleman checks. But, lots of us forget about our eye health. I bet you didn’t know that there are more than 2 million people in the UK with sight loss; 50% of those people could have prevented such sight losses had they visited their opticians for an eye test. Were you aware that 40% of us can lose our vision without even noticing? Maybe, that’s why every time we go the opticians we are surprised, when our optician informs us that our eye sight has weakened since our last visit. We are told that we should have our eyes tests every two years but most of us are failing to do so. Just over half of adults in the UK, visit an optician, once every five years and there are 13.8 million adults who don’t even have their eyes checked. Being a patient for my contact lenses as well as my glasses, I’m always reminded to go and check the health of my eyes. Since the age of 10, my eyes have just become worse each time I’ve visited the opticians,  but I’m rather grateful that in 13 years, designers and opticians have made wearing glasses fashionable and much more of a fashion statement than when I first started out wearing the specs.

Last week I had my eye check-up for my vision, since 2016, and I had this at my local Vision Express store. The optician I had was ever so lovely and was very chatty which makes any check-up that little bit easier. She also chuckled at my commentary which was an added bonus; those who chuckle at my comments usually make a good impression on Ev. Along with the usual: reading from a chart, the optical assistants in store also did some visual scans on my eyes to check my eyes were still healthy. Again, not a scary thing at all; Id prefer an eye scan over an MRI any day!!!! My optician informed me that my eye sight had weakened since my last visit. So, I’ve got the same prescription that I take for my contact lenses which is a 3.75 if anyone was interested with prescriptions. I should also, add that it’s not a competition who has the worst eye sight. Insert the winky face.

Since, my vision had weakened, it was important I had a new pair of spectacles which could accommodate such changes. Picking a pair of glasses is always a big thing for me; although I have my contact lenses to fall back on, I also like my glasses to be visually pleasing as well as liking them for the 2-year duration. I’ve learnt that a tortoise shell is a shade which suits my olive complexion and dark hair but also when I’m not wearing any make up my glasses this colouring doesn’t wash my skin tone out. When I used to wear black glasses, I’d look way rougher than I felt.

 I went for a similar shape because I’ve become such a fan of the bigger and larger frame of spectacle. I’ve also gone for a much lighter shade of tortoise shell just for change in my spectacle history. I usually play it quite safe but in the last year, my style has evolved which called for some change in my glasses collection too. I also felt like this pair just had some character which compliments my style and personality quite well. You’re probably wondering who and where these glasses are from? Well, you’ll be pretty chuffed to find out that these bad boys are from the In-Style range at Vision Express and were such a great find. The staff at Vision Express were super helpful at guiding me through which frames and styles suited me without being harsh; it’s also great when trying a new pair of glasses on what another person thinks so you know what your audience are seeing. I love having the help of the store when I’m picking my glasses because it makes the journey much smoother and you know they actually fit the shape of your face perfectly.

Now who knows what anti-glare/reflection is? Well, I only learnt what it was in 2016 when I upgraded my standard glasses from glare central to anti-glare. Those who have it on their glasses love it and those who haven’t got it on their glasses, don’t know what they’re missing. It’s essentially a special coating which improves vision, reduces eye strain and the best thing for people like me, who like their photo being taken = they are more attractive to look at. This is something which I think everyone should consider when investing or buying a new pair of specs. It is an additional cost but in the long run makes your glasses just that nicer quality and of course better looking. Also means you don’t fear when the photographer puts his flash on his camera because those who do not have the nice anti reflective coating will have just flash on their lenses. Not a great look. I know that when I have this coating on my glasses, I can take a photo without the worry of seeing the reflection of myself through the selfie. If you ask me that’s a winner in itself.

I am very happy, with my glasses this time around and am even happier at the fact that they photograph well, they suit my style and I’ve also kept up to date with the health of my eyes. I suppose, Evs feels rather spexy now (winky face).

This post was in collaboration with Vision Express & the glasses were gifted to me by Vision Express. All views and opinions are my own







In the last year, I’ve been a massive advocate of natural beauty; which isn’t ditching the make up but turning to more natural or organic beauty products whether thats: natural haircare, natural shower gels and soaps, natural skincare and of course today’s focus natural deodorants.

Deodorant, is not an optional product in our lives unless you like the smell of BO or just like having the wiffy stinks round your pit area so finding a formulation you like is important. Today’s natural deodorant comes from a couple named Ben and Anna who have produced a natural and organic based deodorant to comply with their organic and vegan lifestyle. The bicarbonate in the formulation will reduce odour and then the arrowroot extracts keeps the armpit free from wetness. Unlike some of our favourite deodorants on the high street, this formulation has not been tested on Pete Rabbit and will comply with everyones anti-animal testing and vegan lifestyles. But, the question is, does this formulation prevent pit stench?

Has anyone seen the Homer Simpson gif where he retreats into a bush? Well, look on your gif keyboard because that is me, pre now if someone had suggested I use a natural deodorant. I think because I was fearful of it not working and then leaving me with badly smelling pits. Being so enthusiastic about the gym and sweating fat off, I was fearful that a natural based product would leave me with being that smelly one in the gym. But now, I’ve let the worry down and decided to give it a go. I’ve been testing the Provence scent which is in the image above, this has a lavender smell. I’m not like some people who despise lavender as a smell, I don’t mind it, I always use lavender based scents for bath times because the smell apparently has calming properties to encourage a calmer sleep.

Now, back to the deodorant. The smell of this, is very rich and I will be completely honest, it was quite over powering at first as I was so taken back with the smell being so fragrant. Sometimes, something organic and homemade doesn’t always have a rich smell. However, unlike my deodorants containing half a tone of aluminium and chemicals in them, this smell lasts for the whole day. I stick catch a whiff of the lavender half way through the day. To test, whether it wasn’t just luck of the drawer, I was lucky enough to have been sent two other scents in the collection which were ‘Nordic Timber’ and ‘Indian Mandarin’ and it wasn’t just luck of the drawer, these were as lovely smelling as their other friend the ‘Provence’.  My pits were as fresh as a lavender field and for the first time in my life, this is not just a simile it is real and the real deal. So, Ben and Anna have scored very well for their smell.

For application, this is where I found it took me a little while to adjust to. Because they’re made with products such as baking powder the consistency is a lot drier than your standard chemically ridden high street deodorant. So, the guys at Ben and Anna suggested that these deodorants are best applied, once you come out of the shower because your skin is slightly damp or even leaving your stick on the radiator to warm up will give it some moisture. The moisture will make it much easier to apply under your pits. But this, is something which you can adapt and get used to, quite quickly and wouldn’t be something I’d be putting them in the bin for.

So these are the main things that any good blogger would mention; at the heart of this, the deodorants are really great to use. I found, that it wasn’t a big transition to make because they became like second nature to use like my previous formulations would have been. I would really recommend these deo-sticks to those who are maybe finding deodorant for the first time; those who are entering the puberty stages or have just got a whiff of their pit stench. This is because these would be less  likely to irritate or cause you issue and also with their skin still being slightly fragile and not used to chemicals under there, a natural product maybe a little nicer under those areas. So, any parents out there, if your child is starting to get the whiffy stinks, consider a natural deodorant just to get them used to applying deodorant and also keep their skin ultra lovely. I should also add that these deodorants are unisex; so men you can roll these over ya pits too. So, girls if you’re getting stick of laying with your boyfriend and he has the pit stench, give him one of these bad boys to roll over his pits.

For me, I love that you can now, buy deodorants that are natural and do work which means if you’re making those transitions from animal tested chemical products you can make it a whole beauty cabinet transition rather than just the odd few products. With these deodorants you’re not just being a apart of a trend, but you’re being ethical, organic and natural but also cruelty free. The three major core factors for Ben and Anna’s brand. They’ve got my seal of approval and also kept in great supply of deodorants for the year!

This post was in collaboration with Ben and Anna, the brand gifted me three deodorants in exchange for content* 



Shop for Nice Pits

Ben and Anna

Why 2018 won’t be a capsule wardrobe year?

2016-7 was the year every blogger and fashionista went down the road of talking about capsule wardrobes and the reasons why we should have one; we had monetary reasons, we had mental positives as well as having more space around us. However, with all the above reasons in place I still can’t convert to this life just yet. If you’re not into fashion and just read this for me, then I’ll tell you what a capsule wardrobe is. It essentially goes back to the days of Gok Wan on Channel4 who told all the ladies out there to have a wardrobe containing few items but these few items would all be interchangeable. For example, the leather trousers could be worn both for: daytime and evening with just a change of top or fancier shoes. The concept is very good and for people who aren’t phased with outfit repetition, it is, the best thing to do, but there are a few reasons why I won’t be ditching my multiple polka dotted clothing items & jeans anytime soon.

My Style Changes

I probably did have a capsule wardrobe back in the day, when my fashion was not my first priority but my education was. But now at the age of 21 nearly 22 (wink wink) I believe that my fashion changes on a regular basis and so the chances of a capsule wardrobe working for me are very low. I’ve got more chance of Richard Hammond knocking on my front door or being famous than it working for my lifestyle. I like being able to dip into trends anytime.

It’s not always cheaper

Those who advocate a capsule wardrobe will tell you that it is cheaper and saves you money in the long term. This is because you won’t be tempted to buy lots of clothing items mid-season due to having them in your collection already. Now, I disagree, in order for a capsule wardrobe to work you, have to plan it in the run up and mass purchase for the run up to the season for it to be considered a capsule wardrobe, otherwise it’s the same as your standard wardrobe. The big celeb advocates of capsule wardrobe will spend at least £300 on their capsule wardrobe for that seasons wardrobe. Usually spending a large chunk of that on just the coat or a pair of shoes. So, are they actually making a saving? Well, unless they have that money to dish out like water than actually they’re not making a saving because they’ll be paying their credit card back for what they purchased. Do you get me? I think for the rich and for those in the fortunate position of being able to buy whatever they want when they want it would be really worthwhile and a saving. If you have swapped standard shopping for the capsule wardrobe then let me know your tips.

Updates make me happy

The above statement will now make me sound like a ‘spendaholic’ or one of those people who has to buy to make themselves happy. No, this is not the case at all. I’d say around 95% of my time, I am a very happy person and so do not trips to the shops to make me happy. I usually find happiness after a fitness class. But, by buying new pieces every now and then, it does give you a pick up and gives you that confidence that perhaps prior to the purchase you had. These purchases don’t even have to be expensive, as little as £5.99 for a basic tee from Zara.

Outfit Repeating Scares Me

There is a meme that circulates social media about the judgement we receive if we repeat an outfit when we should reply with ‘I have a washing machine’. For me, I have no problem wearing jeans over and over again or t-shirts or blouses but for going out for dinner or on a gallivant with friends, I like to buy a new outfit because it firstly gets me excited for the event as well as gives me the confidence to go for the night out. Even if it is just a new top or pair of shoes, it’s just that new item which can up your personal game and make you feel better within yourself. I find, if I wear the same outfit that I wore the time before I went out, I feel less sassy because I don’t want to re-share with followers or because those I am with, will make a judgement towards what I’m wearing.

It’s confining

Everywhere we go; whether it’s at work, home or on the roads, there are rules. Rules telling us what we can and can’t do, whether that’s not smoking in buildings, going above 70mph on the motorway or parking across multiple bays and so can you blame me for not wanting to put rules into my wardrobe? I don’t want to be styling myself a month before I’ve even found my sense of style for that season, I also don’t want to ban myself from buying the odd purchase on spontaneous trips.

My take on the capsule wardrobe, however, will surprise any family members raiding this. This is because I choose to have a clear out or cull of wardrobe every three months, and the three months I’m putting in this post because it’ll make me want to do a wardrobe clear out again. The clear out is not you binning every item but sorting through your wardrobe and making changes with your attitude towards your clothing and your collection of clothes. For me, I sort through my clothes with the same attitude I’d have when culling friends on social media and I call this a refresh. So call this a wardrobe refresh.

Begin, by going through your collection of clothes, beginning at one section whether it be t-shirts, denim or shoes. Go through and think about the last time you wore the piece. If you haven’t worn that t-shirt since 2015 or early 2016: you are highly unlikely to wear it again. Also, if the item doesn’t bring you a sense of desire to re-wear it, take it out of the wardrobe. The pieces that are now segregated from the rest of your clothes, you must now decide to do either of the three steps.

Step 1: Take to Charity: If you know you will never step outside your front door in those jeans or that blouse again, just bite the bullet and donate to charity. Someone out there, will want that blouse more than you did and the money they spend rehoming that blouse can go to charity. I will always donate mine to Cancer Research to help find the cure for such a terrible disease that effects all of us.

Step 2: Give to friends or family: If like me, most of your family are similar shapes and sizes and you can share clothes, donate that blouse to another person who may find that desire you lost towards it.

Step 3: Put it another bag under your bed or wardrobe: This is the hoarder wardrobe approach, if you think that you might wear that particular piece again, put it in a bag and place it under your bed or wardrobe and then if you fail to even pick it up or think about in the following weeks or months, then you can donate the item. It also gives you that sense of re-assurance that you are culling the right things in your collection.

I felt this post was my way of saying that with 2018, now with us, I will be the same person and keeping the same approach to my style and look for the year. I suppose what I’m trying to say is, New Year, Same Me. I’ve made resolutions like we all have but unlike my approach to capsule wardrobes, I don’t think I need to share them just yet. So, have a great 2018 and I wish everyone reading this, the happiest of new year’s!


I wrote a blog post documenting lessons I had learnt over the course of 2016; it was definitely rather therapeutic and allowed to me to get a lot off my chest and out onto the public sphere. I decided, that I would write the lessons I had learnt over 2017 into a blog post.

Lesson 1: Quality over Quantity

This line, I was always told at school when writing answers to exam questions; where I would write pages and pages where those pages would never actually answer the question but waste my time and my teachers’ time. But, I now have started to realise this in life regarding friends and friendships. I was also told a few years ago, that when you’re ill you know who your real friends are and the last three months of this year I’ve been poorly and as a result I’ve been made aware of who my true friends are. I’ve learnt that as you get older, it’s far better to have few good quality friends than tens of poor, untrustworthy and sly friends who are out to mock and judge you. At school, we’re encouraged to have lots of friends but in actual fact, we never understand the difference between ‘friend’ and ‘acquaintance’. Those who have not been good quality friends as of this year, have become more like acquaintances to me this year than friends.

Lesson 2: Move on.

Have you ever invested effort, time and your feelings into a ‘friendship’ that you think will lead to a relationship and then you see from your stalking on social media that they’ve moved on found someone who apparently was, who they were looking for, not you? As a vague description, the complete opposite to you: blonde, blue eyes, not into make-up or fashion at all or that’s the definition of opposite when in comparison to myself. Well, this year I saw it twice. Twice, I saw men who I had associated myself with, find new relationships or ‘friendships’. At first, it hurt me, made me feel like chopped liver, but now I look at it, like Iris, in The Holiday, where she asks Jasper if, he could let her fall out of love with him and that’s what I had to do. I was never in love with those men, but, instead I had my feelings hurt and if you’ve had your feelings hurt than this can be as bad as going through a break up or even having been in a relationship with the person. I’ve had to be like Taylor Swift in her album ‘Reputation’.  So, now, I did that thing where you tell yourself you were better, you move on and forget about them. You realise that if it was meant to be, you would be maybe sat in bed with that person watching the re-run of Casualty on satellite television rather than laid in bed on your own, with tears in your eyes pretending you’re ok but in actual fact you’re lonely and wishing for answers. Also hating your appearance wishing you had someone in your life telling you, you were perfectly ok as a size 8 with a big bum is too big for certain clothes.

Lesson 3: Unfollow not Unfriend

I wrote a post a few months ago, about how I was finally accepting the action of a person unfriending me or unfollowing me from social media. I still get proper pissed off when I see that a person has unfriended me; since hurling myself into blogging properly with social media I’ve learnt that unfollowing isn’t a problem, you accept it and move on. However, unfriending is hurtful, it makes you question who you were to that person and their reasons why they unfriended you. Were they against self-promotion? Was it because they realised you were no longer friends? Or, was it because you were annoying them? However, you look at it, it’s hurtful. I was tempted to unfriend lots of people, but in favour of unfriending, I decided to use that feature of unfollow for lots of people I wanted to unfriend but couldn’t bring myself to unfriend. I didn’t want to be obsessed with their life anymore but wanted them to still see me in their friends list so unfollowing them made it slightly easier. I wanted to know that if I happened to be interested in their life, I could click on their name on my feed and have a browse over their content rather than unfriending, not knowing who or what they were doing. So, top tip, if you want to unfriend someone, just unfollow them and chances are, you won’t see their content ever on your newsfeed unless you go for a gander of their profile.

Lesson 4: Not all neurologists look like Patrick Dempsey

When my GP told me, I was being referred to a neurologist, I was soiling myself in the words of Alan Partridge but I then had to think positively because it was being done to rule out the worst-case scenario. To calm my nerves or to mask my nerves with witty comments, I imagined that all neurologists would be like Patrick Dempsey from Grey’s Anatomy; turns out that like my male friends’ new girlfriends, neurologists are also completely opposite to what I thought.

Lesson 5: Old but a Gooden

I think we, all have a tendency to dismiss certain things if they are older than 2012 because it seems right to do so or because if it’s old it won’t apply to 2017 modern life. For example, Sex and the City; this was a series I found after desperately searching for a series I could binge watch, whilst poorly and lots of people had suggested it to me. However, it was worth the hype; I’ve realised that even with it being so old it is in fact still applicable to 2017 and as we go into 2018. I love; how being single, being open with your sex life, being career minded and confessing your feelings is not seen as a flaw but empowering for a woman. I have fallen in love with the boxset this year and know that I’ll probably be watching it again sometime soon.

Lesson 6: Wait

When I finished my degree, I was straight away searching for full time work and was desperate to find work, despite not knowing what I was going to graduate with. I was applying for lots of graduate jobs, some of which I knew I wanted to do and others I clearly didn’t want to do but was so keen to be one of those people who found work straight away. I had lots of interviews and was offered roles that were clearly not what I wanted to do, so decided to reject them; at first, I was paranoid that I would never find work that would fit with what I had wanted to do when I left University. I found the jobs I rejected, the recruiter was looking down on me for rejecting such a decision. However, waiting for the right job and right offer was what I did and was ever so grateful that I did because potentially I would have taken the first offer and have been miserable in doing so. Yes, I would have left retail and been one of the first to get a job after finishing University but it wouldn’t have made me happy and to be honest you have to think about your happiness.

Lesson 7: Buying a Following is fraud

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you will be familiar with the blogging industry and how it has evolved from a person’s hobby into a person’s career; people can go from working full time in admin to working full time as social media/blogger people – but have you ever questioned how they’ve made such transition or suddenly boomed? Well, I learnt this year that amongst the bloggers who have truly gone out of their way to make a following on their own, there are many who have cheated their way to the top. Lots, have gone onto sites on the interweb and purchased their thousands of followers, likes and comments. This seems innocent if you’re a kid wanting to get more likes on a pic than your friends but when your Instagram is a business it’s cheating. Many bloggers, like myself who maybe don’t have a following of the same amount as someone as other bloggers will not get approached by brands or PR’s for opportunities because we don’t have that following but those who have purchased their following do. This becomes unfair, we become jealous but feel cheated as these brands are unaware of the truth picture. I will pick up a following of a larger scale than I currently have now; but, Im prepared to work hard to produce this organically in favour of buying it and cheating my way to the top.

Lesson 8: Try something NEW

In January, I decided to try a new fitness class at my gym because I was becoming slightly bored of my current regime and wanted something new; so, I tried Body Combat. I was told by a family member, that it’s definitely a hard-core class; my first class was definitely an experience because of its intensity and speed but it has become one of my favourite classes of 2017 and of all time. I love how when I go to a body combat class it burns so many calories like spinning but also gets my stress, anger and hatred towards people out of my system with the style of routines.

Lesson 9: Its ME

The last three months of this year have been dedicated to my absence of sassy Ev due to illness and my diagnosis of ME. Like, everything else, I wrote about this too and will leave all related posts below for you to browse over. I was diagnosed back at the start of November and since then have been coming to terms with the diagnosis and how it impacts/effects my life or net letting it impacting my life too much. It’s amazing to have learnt that my condition has given me the gluten intolerance so I did have a gluten intolerance but was something to do with the ME. When I have an ME relapse, I develop an intolerance to gluten which suggests I’ve had ME for a lot longer than I thought I did; potentially since the start of 2016. I realised that I’ve also had issues with low B12 since last year and so it has never sorted itself out. Always been low on the b12. I’m now attempting to deal with it and work through it, trying to find a life that suits it but not putting anything or anyone on hold. I want to live my life, doing things that I would have done months ago whether that be attending concerts, gym classes, meals out or cinemas.

Lesson 10: LOVE Yo-Self

I am super confident with new situations, new people and challenges but this year I’ve tried to love myself properly. Now, my family will read this lesson and think of it as bizarre as they think I love myself and am so body confident which I can be, there is no doubt there when I have a great outfit on, that black sleeveless, strapless jumpsuit back in March for example, I love myself and want to shout it from the roof tops. However, 96%, of the time, I despise what I see in the mirror; and this is not me fishing for compliments but this is me confessing that when I look in the mirror whether I am naked, clothed or in underwear I despise my body and appearance. So, I’ve learnt to try to love myself, because how on earth will I find a relationship when I cannot love myself or be in a position when I am body confident.

Lesson 11: It’s OK to be single

I wrote this one, in my last lessons of the year but I am still trying to accept and learn that it’s not such an issue. Perhaps it bothers me, because all my closest friends are in long term relationships and I’m the only Bridget Jones figure OR it bothers me because I’ve had my share of my ‘fuck boys’ and I’ve invested feelings and time into those to end with looking like a mug. However, I am now embracing single hood and being ok being on my own because so far, I have done very ok without a man by my side. Also, shoutout to the date I went on, back in May, when the guy took me out and didn’t have the decency to text me. What a waste of foundation, powder, mascara and false lashes that was. So, yes, I’ve accepted being single, as hard as it can be, I’ve done so and have tried to be ok with it as hard as it can be.

So what are the lessons you’ve learnt during 2017?



Lets Discuss 2017

So, 2017, it’s been a strange old year it’s been a year that saw the comeback of 90’s group Steps which I should add were fab in their concert which I saw towards the end of 2017. We saw Donald Trump amazingly begin his first year in the White House and of course Emma Stone winning an Oscar for her beautiful part in La La Land. I know, these are quite trivial features of this year but I’m not a newspaper listing events, I’m just going through the ‘rule of three’ GCSE language rule. As I write this blog post, I realise that this year has been one of the worst but also one of the best years of life; the first six months of this year, were just bloody amazing and I achieved everything I had planned to achieve for 2017. So, it was no wonder why fate was telling me to spend the last four months of the year enduring bad health and never-ending injections, blood tests and doctor’s appointments.

2017 began with me turning 21. The peak of adulthood; what a fabulous fortnight of celebrating I had – I drunk far too many porn star martini’s, glasses of prosecco and danced too much like Beyoncé but had the best two weeks’ worth of celebrating with every person who mattered. To ALL the people who wished me happy birthday, celebrated with me and went to the extent of writing me cards and buying me gifts thank you very very much. Fast forward a few months later and we have a feature of my life which doesn’t sound like much, but in actual fact was a mile stone for my confidence, I plucked up the lady balls and wore a black jumpsuit which had no sleeves and was tailored to the point no lumps or bumps could be hidden. It was my most daring look and one which paid off; my self-esteem and body confidence at this point was at an all-time high; I just wish I could retrace that right now. It doesn’t sound like a big deal but it was something which made me feel great and gave me a little boost in my appearance. It also helped with the falling out of touch with feelings you may or may not have had towards males’ months prior. The middle finger up to them with the caption ‘this is what you left behind sweet heart (make sure you say sweet heart in the voice of Catherine Tate’s Nan’.) Whilst finding my confidence with my figure, I also set up my YouTube channel, something I’d never considered would be possible, but turned out, people do actually watch me talk, wander around in a candid fashion and do my make up in front of a mirror. I’d like to thank anyone who has subscribed or taken time out to watch my content even if it was to take the piss. But, if you did, watch it, to take the piss, just remember it may have made you crack up with laughter but it gave me that extra view so actually who won? I did. Sucker.

The next big mile stone was receiving PR mail from Liz Earle and Revlon: two of my favourite beauty brands. These lovely PR people sent me some wonderful products; some I had tried previously and others I’d never tried and have now become great additions within my skincare and make up bag. I then got the opportunity to work with Reynolds Fitness on content for my YouTube channel as well as work with two big brands; Panasonic and Jack Wills. A thrill to work with two big brands. This year has definitely been the year of my blog, I’ve managed to put more time and energy into my blog; receiving a camera for my 21st upped my photography game which has made my blog become an asset to me rather than just something to do when I’m bored or have something interesting to say. I’ve also invested a little bit of money into my blog, I purchased the domain as you’ll tell as we’ve gone from blogspot.co.uk to cornerstone.co.uk which I liked. I’ve also become self-hosted so I own all my blog via WordPress and I also worked with Pipdig to change the look of my blog which I hope you agree has made it look much more professional. If you view my content via a mobile, I’d suggest you switch the version to ‘Desktop version’ so you can see the makeover if you haven’t noticed any changes or the makeover. I also have attended a few events designed for bloggers or press days for brands which has really got my name out there the last year and I have also meant some really lovely bloggers and got friendly with lots as a result.

The biggest thing above the blog becoming what it has done, is the thing that I can’t hide and never mentioned on this Cornerstone. It was…I graduated. I graduated University if you didn’t know or didn’t click on with me using the images from my graduation for this post. I graduated in July with a 2:1 in English and American Literature from the University of Kent. This is one thing I am still proud as punch about, when I look up and see my certificate and cap I get am immense feeling of pride because I achieved something that I thought was impossible, something I thought would never happen because of negativity, not getting my first choice University offer in 2014 and one or two bad essay marks. After completing University, I also managed to leave retail work fairly quickly after finishing my degree because I secured a full time position in London working for an Education Magazine as a Campaign Manager. The job title makes me feel like Olivia Pope every day, all I need is the coats, the boyfriends and the ace career reputation. It’s a job I’m loving as it’s giving me a real push into the PR direction I want to eventually find myself within unless other routes arrive on my doorstep.

So, they were the positives of this year? Negatives I won’t dwell on because there is no need and I don’t want to mark my end of year like something of a cliché or like a celebrity biography. I also, don’t want to write about all my health problems since I wrote so much content about it over the last few months. But, One, negative but not a negative but something just annoying was, was going on a date with a chap to then for him to never even contact me after the date. I was either really boring, or he was freaked after I told him I wanted a big career and liked Steps and Kylie Minogue….oops. Yes, I had my fair share of shite towards the end of year; from being tested for MS to being diagnosed with ME and neuropathy at the end of last month. I am far away from being able to resume x4-5 2-hour gym sessions a week, Monday-Friday 9-5 working days, all day shopping and clubbing trips as well wearing heels all day because my body is still weak and still crying inside after over extensive things. Concerts, big shopping trips and late nights are all having impacts on me, 24 hours after the initial event. But, I shall get there!!

In the grand scheme of things, I’ve not really had the worst year; to be honest I’ve had a bloody brilliant year with all my achievements. I may still not have found my male side kick but nobody is ticking my tick list or even looks a little like a Tom Hiddleston, Jude Law, Alex Turner or Richard Hammond mix…but that will come…eventually she says but that’s really all I can say other than thank you for reading this years’ content, for supporting my cornerstone and for always giving me lovely feedback on photography or my writing. I should also thank Rae from Beauty at Brunch, Nick Hobbs, Niamh Francis and Aimi Chapling for being my blog photographers on occasions this year. So, I’ll see you in 2018, where I hope to be still here producing the candid and quirky content we all know and love or I hope you love.

2018 I’m coming for ya!!


The Grand Tour S2 Premiere

Funny Disclaimer: This post will contain several fan girl moments

Imagine getting an email from Amazon in your inbox sending you an invitation to the premiere of The Grand Tour in London hosted by Amazon. For those of you, who don’t like Jeremy Clarkson and co you probably wouldn’t be bothered or even slightly interested but having been in love with Richard Hammond for a long time I squealed with excitement; it was the sort of invitation I’d have dreamed of back when Richard Hammond returned to Top Gear in 2007, after his accident in 2006 so receiving it now, just feels like a huge privilege and honour. (Any Hammond trivia, fire away and I’m sure I’ll breeze through that part of a quiz). I was invited to be a guest of Amazon’s and the invitation included access to the screening of the premiere of the series before it landed on Amazon Instant Video on the 8th December as well as access to the after party all alongside the crew of the series and the UK’s journalists and press. (Living the dream)

The second series of The Grand Tour had a lot to live up to, the first series was like Top Gear on ecstasy (No, I haven’t tried ecstasy but am assuming that if it was applied to tv production, this is the outcome) and was a major middle finger up to the BBC with their now: bigger budget, 4K production and streaming freedom. It was everything fans around the world wanted; three men cocking about and arguing with the subtle hint of cars in the backdrop. So, when the second series became imminent there was a lot riding on it; we wanted the second series to be even better, bigger and even funnier. We wanted the sequel to be as good as the first. I’ll explain it like films,  let’s take Bridget Jones; the first one, a brilliant comical film whilst the second film let it down; so was Jeremy Clarkson’s new baby going to be like ‘Cleever’ and never make it into the third season?

Now, I personally felt, this season opener was along the lines of something the team would’ve produced with the BBC because it had that road trip: European country, supercars and male banter/humour all things which make for a great show whether a season opener or not. Each road trip, the team embark with a question of which is best and this road trip was asking which was best; ‘past, present or future?’ The team had: a lambo which represented the past, a hybrid supercar and then the electric supercar. I really enjoyed the road trip and it had everything their old show had, so it was great for the team to bring that approach to motoring journalism again with their new Amazon approach to it. I did find, in places that the team liked focusing on the new filming technologies they have; because there were lots of beautiful shots of Switzerland’s landscapes instead of the team irritating each other. We could tell, that this series and entire show is being produced in 4k and the production and filming team want to showcase this as much as possible. It felt like the team had a newbie on their filming crew who wanted to show his friends and family his filming locations. But being a graduate, I must look at the opposite view and think that this was to do, with the team wanted to showcase a theme of the entire series: travel. The Grand Tour at heart is all about travel and going to grand places so the camera would have to show this it in it’s entirety.

I do believe; however, that this road trip was over shadowed because the show and the premiere built up the anticipation for us to see what delayed the series from screening back in November. This was Richard Hammond crashing the car he was driving, this was the Rimac Electric Car. From the very beginning of the show, Clarkson made us well aware what we would be watching so the viewers whether in their 10s, 1000s, or 10000’s were prepared to see this incident and the extent. The crash involved the car flip over several times from the top of a hill climb and then minutes later catching light. Due to the car catching light, there was no on-board footage and because it was at the end of the race, there were no filming crew at the end of the race which meant there was no full footage of the accident as there was with his prior incident which was fully recorded for the cameras; despite the lack of footage it was still rather harrowing to witness and no wonder he has preferred his wife and children to not view. With being like the Ice Queen of emotions, I kept a straight face and didn’t have an emotional breakdown as some assumed I would have. So, Ice Queen reigns.

With the grandness of the first seasons’ opener, this series had a lot to live up to with especially in this first episode opener. It was pretty clear, that the hype needed to be lived up to, in order to retain viewing figures and prime subscriptions but as I read on the day of it’s release from a journalist who would’ve been at this event; the trio have found their groove. I would say just like when Madonna found hers with ‘Into to the Groove’. This is something, Andy Willman said at the premiere, is, that he felt the show has now found it’s feet because they know what they do well and are going with this. The team now know what works and know where to take the show which is great to hear.

The trio, have remembered what was their selling factor from their BBC days; friendship, banter and exotic locations. Shows where they are just mocking each other, arguing in fancy locations is exactly what their ‘fans’ and viewers want to see and which is why they’ve managed to drag out their careers with one another for so long. I do believe that if you want proper motoring journalism you don’t watch The Grand Tour you get your review of a vehicle elsewhere not here. Whether, you loathe them, can tolerate them or you find them great like my Mum and I do, you cannot hide that they have shown the world and media how much we love old men cocking about regardless of cars being in or out of the shots.

So, the event you’ll be all asking or if you’re bothering to read this, I hope you’re thinking this? It was much better and whole lot more amazing than I thought. I genuinely thought it was going to be like going to the cinema; with a few people watching the show and then leaving. However, it was more of a party and a press launch then anything. Press, guests and fans gathered all with their invitation straight from Amazon or the shows’ PR team, a team that I would happily be apart of. Amazon who had clearly organised the shindig, had provided the people attending with; free unlimited alcoholic beverages, hot food and a party with Ricky and Melvin from Kiss radio as the DJ’s which was quite exciting. It was something that I had always imagined myself attending whether it be for one of my favourite shows or not. When, I was younger I always wanted to attend a premiere of something and this evening I lived that fantasy just without the outdoor red carpet or grand ball gown; instead a pair of chunky heeled boots, boyfriend jeans and a hun tee. (See, got fashion in there)

Were the trio there you might ask? Sadly, the presenters were not present they were at their New York premiere. I presumed that because Amazon is American they have to attend American premieres as a part of their contracts. As you can tell, I’ve spent a lot of time on my own to think of such things. Prior, to the event, I was dreaming and praying the Hamster would’ve been there to have made my 2017 even better and get the Facebook profile picture I’ve been after for years, but sadly he wasn’t but as I was there, was rather grateful he wasn’t since I managed to spill chilli sauce down my t-shirt from the chicken flatbread I ate post screening. Thank the lord, my first meeting wasn’t with lots of sauce down my chin and front. But, one bonus we had the executive producer, Andy Willman in conversation. Willman if you lived under a rock or were not familiar with his name is the brains behind Top Gear and one of Clarkson’s pals, the pair are responsible for a lot of the funniest sequences and lines.  He was in conversation with the Vice President of Amazon Prime and the pair discussed the new season: what was being dropped and being brought in.

 For example, Celebrity Brain Crash and The American have been dropped; two good drops in my opinion. I found Celebrity Brain Crash by the second week became slightly unfunny and predictable. The American was unfunny from the start, no Stig figure and so was very glad they removed him from this season. What I liked, was that they listened to their audience and went with the contributions from us in favour of reviews from critics which I found a bit of a breath of fresh air. I think, Clarkson especially, has realised that without the people like myself or some of my friends who watch their past and present content religiously that without us, their show wouldn’t be the success it is or has become in the last decade. Willman also addressed the incident involving Hammond since the audience and interviewer were so interested as to what happened because we hadn’t see the accident so wanted his knowledge; I realised that I was sat there, absorbing information that was said about Hammond that I could potentially have written by dissertation on how and why his tv crashes have happened as well as their impact on television series airing on the right date. Unfortunately, literature and my 11-year crush never were a made matched in heaven. For those who are interested, I’ll tell you regardless of whether you were interested, they are actually unaware of what happened and are putting the sheer speed and machine that the the car was, down to the incident and the presenter losing control of such a machine; let’s put it this way I can barely drive my Fiat 500 twin air turbo, so I admire it. Prior to seeing the episode, Willman explained that with Hammond remaining conscious unlike his previous car incident meant that he was able to make a swift exit himself prior to the vehicle catching light; something he too is very much aware of. I found, whilst listening to Willman, that like the trio, he too, is very funny and has a very similar sense of humour, quite dry and very sarcastic which makes for a very amusing interview.

I felt that attending such an event, was such a privilege for my younger self and myself now a day’s. I’m so glad that when they got in touch inviting me, I couldn’t turn down the opportunity even in my current condition and I also felt that when I answered their question of ‘what is your favourite part of the Grand Tour?’ I replied with ‘the trio’s chemistry and more importantly Hammond’s face’ I had to attend on the basis of such a witty response to a serious question. I’ve put this all in a vlog, so stay tuned for tomorrow (11/12/17) for a video on my Youtube channel showing you a sneak peek and also the interview with Willman.

The Grand Tour seasons’ 1 & 2 are now available for streaming via Amazon Instant Video: available to use via an Amazon Prime subscription

Disclaimer: I was invited to the premiere as a guest of Amazon’s but all views are my own



A Personalised & Tasty Celebration

Today, I’m donning my Mary Berry hat and telling you all about the revelation that I have been made aware of…. cakes that fit inside your letterbox and are edible. I’m no food blogger by any standards so, before anyone leaves a comment or writes an indirect message on their social media account, don’t worry I’m not, instead I am making you all aware of a great service available to you which doesn’t involve moving from your sofa this festive season or the New Year.

Buying any form of celebration cake can be a right ball ache if you ask me, I’m really not into birthday cakes usually, my family know the drill when it comes to my relationship with cake. Make me a brownie and stick some candles in it and that’ll do the job perfectly. I find the sponge for the cake to always be dry, the buttercream never being tasty and the layer of jam being quite half arsed, so barely scraping over the dry sponge; gotta have some sort of moisture. The standard celebration cake also has the unimaginative decorations which have been done to death and there is only so many times, one can have, a birthday cake with a teddy bear on….Perhaps, this has to be to do with them all being mass produced and packaged in our local supermarket? So, when the Daddy’s of celebratory cakes got in touch with me for a collaboration, I was most intrigued to see whether I could be altered on my views about birthday cakes or celebration cakes. Before, I tell you all about my cake, let me just tell you about the company, the company are named ‘bakerdays’. They design, specifically, personalised cakes and cupcakes for birthdays, anniversaries or cakes for gifts. The concept, I found to be rather like MoonPig for cakes. The cakes are made to be then delivered via first class mail and you receive them straight away ready for celebrating with.

The company asked me if they could design a cake dedicated to my blog and I could hardly turn them down on such an offer. I was so touched with the effort, the team at ‘bakerday’s had made with my cake, it really incorporates everything I feature, write about and post in my content. It was such a delightful treat to come home to the other day, the small things at the moment are really brightening me up, after having down days so it definitely brought a smile to my face. But what about the taste?

I had the option to pick my flavour of cake and so I went for the plain, old simple flavour, vanilla, because I wanted to really test whether this cake would stand out in front of those pre-brought ones from the supermarket. The sponge was perfectly moist and was ever so light meaning it’s perfect to have as an accompaniment with a tea or hot chocolate at a tea party of some sort. The taste of the cake was delightful as was the icing on the top which is obviously my favourite part of any cake, especially this cake. I honestly, believe this would be a brilliant gift or addition to any celebration whether it be in aid of the festive period or maybe someone’s birthday, perhaps. It’s a perfect treat for adding a thoughtful touch to something quite ordinary and standard. The team at bakerdays have managed to create an idea which seems quite strange and pointless but in actual fact works and makes for a great tasty treat. And yes; eating a piece of cake with your face on what more could you want.

* this post was in collaboration with bakerdays and the cake was gifted by the company*



It’s been probably a month, since I shared with everyone who reads this cornerstone that I was undergoing health issues. So much so, that it had paused my busy and active life to the extent that I was unable to work, gym or properly participate in my normal daily activities. Last week, I shared on my Facebook an image of myself that was captioned ‘Hospital appointment chic’ it was this day that I would receive test results and my diagnosis. I have remained quiet up to now, because I have had time to digest and take in what I was told and felt that today I wanted to open up and share with anyone who wants to know what is my diagnosis. 

So, in the last 3 months I’ve had multiple blood tests, had an MRI scan which was the most traumatic experience. I think being claustrophobic is a lot to do with this, to be honest, I had a electrons pulsated through my nerves in my hands and feet to show the extent of nerve damage. In the beginning, I was told that I had a B12 deficiency which was causing the symptoms I wrote about in September (Link below) and then this was refused by my specialist who believed in fact, that it as neuropathy. I’d had nerve damage in those areas which had caused this constant tingling sensation. However, what was most apparent and something that was always in the background of all of this, was whether I in fact MS, a much more serious condition that seems to be striking so many people and changing their lives for the worse. Nic Chapman from Pixiwoo being one those. This was always the worry in my head because I had such similar symptoms to those I had read on MS forums but last week I received my diagnosis. In fact, I do not have MS, but do have ME.

ME was something that I had refused to believe for years because I thought that it was a psychological condition. When I was told of my diagnosis I was worried that I’d be labelled as insane due to the stigma that this illness has surrounding it. For years, this illness has been one that hasn’t been taken seriously and seen as nothing more than a group of hypochondriacs complaining of chronic fatigue, muscle pain and headaches. So, it’s no wonder why I was so fearful of what it meant.  Whilst, in fact the the last few years in, fact, medical evidence has proven that this is not the illness I once thought it was. ME stands for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as it’s most commonly known as. It is a fluctuating, neurological condition which affects the nervous and immune systems with almost 250,000 in the UK being in my current position. Doctors cannot just diagnosis it, if you moan you’re tired, but like my situation will combine lots of other tests to rule out other conditions with similar symptoms. 

It’s a condition which commonly develops after a viral infection and just hangs about; so most often, people blame the flu for causing such terrible symptoms and continue with daily life. My symptoms range from; nerve issues with sensation, spaced out feeling, unable to walk as a result of the nerve issued, constant fatigue during and post any normal activity. The issue with gluten, I developed also has been linked to this as well as my current loss of appetite. My doctor’s believe that it is a condition which I developed whilst at University in my third year but with doing such a relaxed degree was able to hide the symptoms which now have become too much to manage in normal working busy Ev life. I for a long time, had been pushing myself believing that exercise, being busy would keep me awake when actually I was making my health much worse. 

It’s a condition which, I may get over in time and look at this as just 1 chapter in my life. Or it could become something which impacts my life but one I must manage. Some people, get ME after suffering with other health conditions and manage to get over the ME with time and are never affected with it ever again. Whilst other people, will have periods when they are affected with it again; maybe not to the same severity but with the same symptoms. It currently has me. predominately in my house feeling very isolated and alone. Trying to express how you’re feeling without looking like an attention seeker is hard. I read a few tweets which I feel were targeted at me, and I just want to say that writing a tweet about your mental state or just general wellbeing does not classify you as an attention seeker; its a way of you dealing with your emotions in a way that doesn’t involve sitting down talking face to face to someone. For a long period of time, up to now I’ve not been able to walk without a crutch or walking stick because my balance goes or my feet don’t feel right. I should also, add that I have not been driving to the extent people are assuming I’ve been. Due to the nerve complications, I’ve been relying on lifts or if I have driven anywhere it’s been short distances with another driver in my car.

I am determined to not let this condition become something people know me for, or something that will stop me carrying out my normal life. I have been told, that treatment isn’t a simple case of being given a tablet because this isn’t something that is available. Instead, I could go and speak to someone who can help me manage and deal with what I have, or I just listen to my body and take my time. I know, I’m a long way from hitting the gym four times a week because at the moment I can barely walk round a supermarket without it knackering me out. So, I’ve got to listen to my body and accept and adapt my life the best that I can.

My first port of action is to get my mojo back. I’m known by friends, family and colleagues both former and present as being the bubbly, sassy outgoing person but as it stands, I’ve lost that mojo I had. I don’t feel as confident with myself, I think not going out to the gym I’ve got in my head that I’ve put a load of weight on; when in reality I haven’t which is something I’m being told on a daily basis. I’m also fearful of what people think of me because it’s something I’m also coming to terms with; so I’m incredibly emotional. Emotional because I’m not living my life to the way I want to live it. I want to be drinking porn star martinis, having my photo taken in a candid manner, dancing like Beyonce whilst slaying in my work. But, as it stands, I’m doing none of those things.

I was told by my specialist, family and the forums I’ve read about ME, that it’s about coming to terms with your diagnosis and working with it. So, I felt that writing about it would be one way I can come to terms with it. When, I’ve told those who care about me they’ve often told me about people they know of have heard of who also battle or have battled with the condition. I appreciate it, but I know that knowing about someone who had it and is fine doesn’t make me feel a whole lot better because I don’t know whether I’ll be as lucky as them. This is because, as I said, I’m still not sure whether this is a spell or something long term. But, if you know of any treatment then please let me know as I am seeking ways of dealing with it. I felt that writing a blog post featuring photo’s from months ago, was also a way of me showing that I can return to that place I was. It’s going to take time but I will get there because I consider myself a strong person; a much stronger person than I was a few years ago. If I can get over with my feelings played, friends not being friends and people being general cock’s then I can get through this and continue to be the Ev everyone knows. The Sassy Petite Gal just with an underlining health condition.