Fast Forward




On Thursday, I was making my way, back into the city, for a works’ social and it was fabulous just to chuck, that in there. Too much gin but, that, is another story for another time, desktop and space. On this journey whilst heavily into the album ‘A State of Trance’ I had a thought. This thought was to the time, I last made this journey on my own to an event in the evening. A journey that was not heading to London for work purposes, client meetings or roof top bars with family. It was another trip. In this thought, I thought about how much I, yes me, has grown in the space of a year. Whilst taking these photos you’re browsing through now, my Sister (my photographer) and I discussed how different we are now from last year. How things change within the space of a year which resulted in these few hundred words being produced.

So how much has changed to have made me think it deserved a post with photos that are; candid and behind the Kent Countryside? Quite a lot if you must ask.


1) I am more confident. Hard to believe? Whenever I say this to people, they are shocked and think how? Well, I am. If I look back over last year, it was a year of learning, trying new things and maturing. I can honestly say the person I am now, is not the person I was last year of even the year before. Anyone who knows me, will say that I was confident last year but am probably much more outgoing then I am now. I won’t say no and am more likely to say yes to new things. I feel more confident in myself and this has resulted in me feeling more confident with clothing and what I wear. I’m quite quirky with what I wear and have in the last year embraced that style.


2) The second comes from starting into the big wide world of 9-5 work. This is, managing to get on a tube on my own and navigating my way through the City on my own. To people who live in London, this sounds like nothing but for someone like me, it’s huge. I live on a tiny Island called the Isle of Sheppey this means I usually can get to most places in my tiny Fiat 500 at ease. I also use trains and buses but choose not to, since I’ve got a great car sat outside. Tubes aren’t a thing around my area so when you arrive into the city and must navigate your way using the underground it’s scary. I’m also quite claustrophobic so tubes have always given me the nerves. Yet last year, I went on the underground on my own. Looking back this made me more of a confident person on the tubes. Therefore, I can now get on a tube at rush hour and not pass out, once on the platform. I feel this is a massive achievement, don’t you think?


3) I’ve learnt to love myself. I don’t want to sound like a big head but in this day an age it’s vital that you should love yourself. I am single. However, unlike every girl in my friendship circle and social media. I am A OK with it. Yes, being in a relationship sounds delightful and it would be great, I can’t lie and say that I’m not searching or even ready to find a sidekick.  But in this trance music induced trance, (pardon that smashing pun) I looked back at the few men who have graced my presence. I realised whilst really head banging and fist punching to trance that those guys think they are so mighty. So easy on the eye. So great as people but they were not worth my time or even my thoughts. I realised that I shouldn’t be pitied for my single life. Maybe being single should be respected because us singletons know our worth, know there is more to life than a having a relationship. I should mention, that if you’re interested you can slide into the DM’s but must have the following:


– GOOD fashion sense; don’t come into my life wearing bad jeans and flip flops just DONT. I will slide you back out of the DM’s faster than you came in.

– Interest in the gym: I know from stories that once you’re in a relationship you pile pounds on, not with me. With me, you become my spinning friend and my combat friend maybe not the Bollywood dancing friend tho. 

– Like taking photos: If you can take a candid photo of yours truly then slide right in


4) Red lipstick has become my signature. Its become the part of my look that everyone comments on. The minute I come in without a lipstick on, its questioned and people question if I am ok both physically and mentally. Yet, some people can’t get their heads around my love for it. I love my red lips. I love the fact that I have to spend time after lunch just checking I don’t look like the Joker. It’s my staple look now and I love it. I love it and I have learnt that if I like it then that is that matters.


These things I have probably mentioned before, but I feel that I needed to express them again and share with you my personal development. I think as well as, all the things above, I have also come to terms with the fact, that there are people who will like your work and there are people who will dislike it and you’ve got to accept this and move on through the negativity. Haters gonna hate and you’ve got to leave them in the lay by. This is what I am learning to do.


How have you changed? Or do you maybe think about how you have developed over the years?


For your information, the trance banger that caused this self worth day dream was Salt Water/Legacy the Alphazone remix on the State of Trance album *DEFO NOT AN ADVERT)


Don’t pity me, because I am single. Respect me, because I know my worth

Photo Credit: Niamh Francis

Camera: Olympus Pen EPL8 45 MM Lens


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